life is meaningless without u, but u dun seems to hv notice me...

From pain to numb...

2011-11-04T01:57:00.001+08:00

Because i know u will never read this blog...

忽冷忽热，很好玩吗？
是你感觉不到，还是故意不在乎？
就算不是女朋友，也不必这样吧。
就算只是朋友，也可以好一点吧。
我没有要求很多啊。
你累，难道我就不累吗？！
为什么好像一切是我欠你的？
朋友的关心，你不会给吗？
还是是你不想给？
对，我知道我很厚脸皮，
死缠着你不放，
可是你知道吗，你好绝。
不过你放心，
今晚的对话，让我领悟了。

Becos u cant tell whats wrong,
Maybe u already interpreted in correctly, but simply refuse to accept it.
But if thats ur hint to me, i really got it.
It is a great time anyway.
Thanks a lot for the pain u given me.

<3

2011-10-13T01:45:00.001+08:00

Shit, i miss you lots..

2011-06-04T17:54:00.002+08:00

is my world suppose to be like that..

just because mistakes occur, retribution falls.

on you and on me..

i feel so miserable every single time u come into my mind.

infatuation?! so easy? thats the answer?

i hope it was, at least according to someone, it will go away soon.

but it doesn't seems like it.

why the fuck when i am trying hard to slap myself back to reality,

all i can do is cry and conclude that i was really so in love with u.

and now all i can do is vent it all on this blog,

remembering that i actually gave u another blog's url.

i really wonder, are u feeling as miserable as me now..

do you still even think of me.

do you know how much i wanna sms you now to give you some strength in studying..

used to be your motivation, i got worried for you.

for your exam, for your emotions, for your heart..

cant even do it as a role of a friend now..

i feel so fucking helpless.

2011-02-21T02:08:00.002+08:00

with all these happening,
i felt so guilty..
i faced nightmares almost every night.

i thought you, as an adult, will face and handle it better den me..
seems like i was wrong.
u didn't give me an answer, you are always questioning me back.

i end up contradicting myself.
i end up hurting both you and myself.
while these matters remained unsolved,
more things came.
i couldnt share things with you.
pride is still that important to you guys.

friends? den what are all those actions for?!

2010-12-06T21:30:00.001+08:00

15cents per sms

a smile/laughter per email

a part in the mind

... daddy, do you know,
how important you are in my life now..

2010-08-14T11:02:00.001+08:00

silence should solve everything...

<3

2010-04-22T16:52:00.002+08:00

tell me i am strong
tell me i can hold on long
let me know that you are gone
for i need to know that i'm alone.
falling into your trap once and again
but never once i felt that i am trained
still feeling as weak
until i broke down that night
and finally see some light
i found my solution:

which is to run away and hide
in this place
where no one can see
where no one can notice
---------------------------------------------------------------
family problem.
one which cant be solved.
haunting me again and again
who is there to help me
to give me a hand
to tell her what i am feeling all the time
why cant she understand
why must she be yelling her way through
is it possible for me to keep so calm all the time
only venting through blogs and sms
simply hate it to core...

<3

blog no. 1

2010-04-16T11:29:00.002+08:00

life is meaningless without you, but you don't seems to have notice it...

<3

2010-04-16T11:28:00.001+08:00

sometimes i simply get so jealous of you.

<3

2010-03-25T10:36:00.003+08:00

我好累。
有一度，
我发觉，
我根本帮不了你。
或是，
我根本不想帮你。
我不想越帮越忙。
我不想帮错忙。
我讨厌自己的无助，
可是你从来也不告诉我你要的是什么。
我讨厌那无声的你。
你到底有没有把我当朋友？

<3

2010-01-21T09:34:00.002+08:00

如果可以，我好想和你远走高飞
离开这里，再让幸福代替一切。
放下所有，重新找到美满生活。
你不知道，有时，我真的好想你。
不会知道，我有多么想依赖你。
好不好，答应我，你要很幸福。
尽情地哭了一场后，
我清醒了，很想离开这伤心地。
不回来了，再见了，永远的朋友。

2009-12-20T12:00:00.002+08:00

我突然好想回到从前的日子。

我突然好想再看到你的脸。

我好想伸出手来把你的手握得紧紧的。

让那温度能让你觉得有安全感。

向往着那些片段里的画面，

心底好像扎扎实实地被打碎了。

破碎了的记忆和拼揍不回的昨天，

让我重心不稳的摔了个正着。

我还能维持多久,

我真的不要知道。。。

<3

2009-11-17T14:34:00.000+08:00

请带我离开这残酷的世界。

<3

2009-10-31T03:32:00.003+08:00

3:32am and here i am typing this crappy post because i dont feel like going back to sleep on this hard and cold floor. there was an accident outside one hour ago. reckless driver =.= but he seems like he had hurt his head. ambulance came too...

last night, we went to mac to have dinner. joan, nicolette, dennis, yongkian and i... we were joking like crap there, we were laughing like nobody's business. we manage to get some words out. but they dont mean a thing. what a nice bonding session. walking in the rain is something i miss so much. be it with him or with her. i saw him in sch today, but i didnt called out to him. i have no idea why either... as usual, he was as caring. as usual, he didnt make it on time. as usual, i cant expect too much from him. times seems to fly so fast, it's already year 2 sem 2 week 2. less den one and a half year more, we'll be stepping out of NP, going different way, moving on a different path. 18 years of like, never once thought i'll survive thru without my friends. from primary to secondary to poly. friends took up at least 70% of my life.

will it be so easy? boy, if u let go that easily, teach me.

<3

2009-10-29T14:15:00.001+08:00

please give me the strength i need...

<3

2009-10-15T16:46:00.003+08:00

driving seriously makes me so stress yet so happy. lol. i can be smiling in the car without knowing why. cher is nice. best is always car 3 bax. i like. lol. hope the teacher dont dont like me. (: parallel parking + slope = fun and more fun. lol. i wonder how am i gonna park without those poles next time.

tml is the day...

<3

2009-10-13T21:26:00.001+08:00

save me?

i am in deep trouble...

<3

2009-09-22T19:26:00.002+08:00

who can save me out of this darkness?

although u said "no", but it actually end up with a yes. cos u didnt do what you said. and you left it all the same. thank you so much. though i dont know what you are thinking. or maybe that action wasnt because of me. it's enough. more than enough. cos i'm lying to myself, that you actually care. thank you so much. because i really need it, i feel so grateful that at least you are there.

2009-08-30T15:43:00.001+08:00

i think, as a fren, i have done too much for you. but do you appreciate it? i do things willingly, not only you, but to other frens too. but what is your respond and reaction towards me. not like i am asking for anything in return, but have you think of it, i'm human too, i'll get tired, get sick of things too. dont take things for granted can? i seems like a stupid idiot fucker to other people, but i said nothing. you dont know how much i hear everytime, i let things pass with a smile or a laughter, leaving no uncomfort feel in people who thinks the other way of us. everything seems to be under ur control. want or dont want. there or not there. should or shouldn't. yes or no. it's all you. leaving me with no choice. sometimes i really wish that i dont know you. what are you treating me as seriously? no matter how much i hear, i must say, it's seriously impossible of us anymore. with the way you treat people, i'll rather things remain this way.cos if it goes on any further, i'll be the one who is tired. and you'll be numb and feel nothing..

2009-08-28T20:26:00.000+08:00

错就错在我，世界那么大，男人这么多，我却偏偏只要你一个。

对吧？连你也会想不到，在我心里，你竟然是那么的重要。

好懊恼，好烦，好无奈。

我是这放开手，向接受另一个他，看看我自己是否会改变。

可是我错了，我对自己下定了决心，不让自己再伤心泪流，不再作出那种愚蠢的行为，伤害自己和另一个他。

那是我的最后一次，将永远记在脑海中。

------------------------------------------------------------

对于你，我不会有任何举动。

一切都是因为“朋友”这两个字。

不会像他们嘴里所说的男女朋友。

你我自己心里都明白，我们都是清白的。

----------------------------------------------------------

很谢谢你，把我这个朋友看得那么重要。

因为我知道，我不是什么很好的朋友。脾气不好、学业不好、态度不好。

真的，很谢谢你。

2009-07-13T17:54:00.003+08:00

if i have a boyfriend now..

i'll be with him everytime he needs me.
i'll cook for him when he's hungry.
i'll give him a tight hug when he's cold.
i'll give him a kiss when we're saying goodbye.
i'll help him to clean and tidy his room when it's messy.
i'll cry for him when he's sad.
i'll laugh with him when he's happy.
i'll make him happy with all my strength.
i'll do all he wants.
i'll not neglect him cos of my friends.
i'll bring him good memories which will last forever.

i didnt know how to be a good girlfriend last time. i rejected offers, i declined kindness and care. seems like i deserve nothing now. i'll learn to be better.

<3

2009-07-11T20:34:00.002+08:00

no matter how many times i cry, things will not change. but why am i still crying?

<3

2009-06-23T09:34:00.003+08:00

wad if ...

one day i just walk away?
one day i slap ur face?
one day i shout back at you?

wad are you gonna do?

early in the morning, every morning, u must spoil my mood like that. u know how fucking irritating it is?! i had enough of you adults' nonsense. all of u can just live in ur own world and shut ur big mouth up... u talk to her u'll quarrel, i talk to her i wont quarrel!? wth reason is that!?

<3

2009-04-12T18:21:00.001+08:00

有时生命真的好无助。。。

<3

2009-04-07T13:02:00.002+08:00

你有喜欢过我吗？

不是普通朋友的喜欢，使男女朋友间那种喜欢。

sigh, life at home.. is bored. not to the extend of terrible, but, getting from bad to worse as time goes by. the stress, the uncomfort, the anger are all showing out as dad went to france. i miss him more than anyone else. i teared for him, because he left without telling me. like how i cried in taiwan, with all the misses for my family and friends. c'mon people, learn to treasure. because you wont know when u're gonna lose it.

ytd, i lied. i went out to play, to the arcade, to vent my anger. i was so glad i didnt say i went to the library. cos she didnt question me. like previous other times. thank you, for at least giving me the freedom to keep quiet about my whereabout.

<3

2009-03-06T14:54:00.010+08:00

here comes most of the pics! unglam-ed taken away. (: enjoy.

full concentration!

muacksss.

girls' world.

ENDEAVOUS!

formal wear!

jump!

scandal! LOL

ah, buay tahan! LOL.

LOL. yea, the only 2 guys in the group.

lao ren~~

i love all of them!

darling!

CEO!

stars (:

k, all up! (: go endeavous!

2009-03-05T21:45:00.001+08:00

我好想在我哭时，有个肩膀能让我依靠。

让眼泪就这样留下来。

<3

2008-12-29T15:39:00.001+08:00

为什么我那么烦？！！！！！！！
!@#$%^&^%$#@#$#%^(*&*^&%^$%#
我好讨厌你！

<3

2008-11-25T12:27:00.001+08:00

你永远也不会了解我的感受。
算了吧。
就这样算了吧。。
因为我讨厌伪装出来的你。
好不真实、好敷衍。

<3

2008-11-16T22:24:00.000+08:00

我知道自己没有她漂亮,
我知道自己没有她聪明，
我知道自己没有她机灵，
我知道自己没有她引人注目，
我知道自己没有她开朗。
我是个有自知之明的人，
放下一万个、一亿个心，
我不会再在烦你了。
我发现，我不需要你的关心，也能好好的活下去。
因为你，我找到了自己坚强的一面。
请容许我自私的说一声：谢谢。
<3

2008-10-29T08:14:00.000+08:00

敞开心房，迎接下一个世界。。。

<3

2008-10-15T21:40:00.003+08:00

一切因你而开始，
一切也会因你而结束。
再见。

<3

2008-10-08T23:29:00.002+08:00

我觉得自己好笨。
让自己觉得那么痛苦。
根本就没人那么想，我自己却在这儿胡思乱想。
很笨吧！
对，这就是曾琬婷。
疑心病好重！！

<3

2008-10-06T21:35:00.002+08:00

对不起。我。不。想。做。你。的。朋。友。你到底明不明白我在讲什么。。。因为我不明白你在想什么。对吗?

<3

2008-09-29T20:23:00.002+08:00

我不需要任何人。。。

<3

2008-09-27T15:30:00.002+08:00

我要哥哥注意我，
我要他知道我还存在着。
他被别人霸占了。
被他所谓的妹妹们拿走了。

哥，我爱你，我要你，我要你也活在我的生活中。朋友都很羡慕我要一个这么好的哥哥，我心里好高兴。可是没人知道，原来哥哥陪我的时间，用两只手也数得出来。大家都说兄弟姐妹是来陪你聊心事的最佳人选。我每次都会默默的想着，是吗？是这样吗？我又和哥哥你聊过心事吗?哥哥又向我诉苦过吗？哥哥你又有问过我的人生吗？在我记忆中，没有。每次我哭，你都会就这样静静地从我身边走过，看我一眼，问也不问。我在学校，在外头所做的事，你都是一律不知道，不管。我心很痛。我不知道是我这个妹妹做得不够好，还是你在外头的妹妹永远都比我好，好到你也会把我给忘了。我讨厌你不在家里，我讨厌看到你每次回家，脸都是臭臭的。我知道，家，对你来说应该只是个睡觉的地方吧。家人在你心中的地位，又排第几？？你可否告诉我？是否会重要？是她，还是我？为什么我的朋友说有哥哥是很幸福的一件事？我很用心的感受着这份亲情，却什么也感受不到。对不起，可能是我太让你失望了。

i wont rely on you. but i still need your love kor. i hope you understand.

<3

byebye!

2008-09-25T22:39:00.003+08:00

我的头很痛。
我讨厌你了。
我不想开始。
我不想结束。
我不肯开口。
我选择逃避。
我逃离世界，
只能说再见。

byebye

<3

2008-09-24T22:31:00.002+08:00

i dont know. i didnt do it on purpose. i just wanted to spend more time with my friends. i'm sorry. i didnt purposely didnt pick up ur phone. i really didnt notice. i'm so tired. i dont feell ike explaining anything to u.

<3

2008-09-23T11:57:00.000+08:00

): i'm emo-ing...

<3

2008-09-22T18:37:00.005+08:00

我想要的家庭：

爷爷：感情最好的家人。无论是大事还是小事，都会替我主持公道。不会偏心。永远都是开开心心的度过晚年。
奶奶：和爷爷一起享受晚年。脸带微笑的与我分享经验。偶尔唠叨一下下，让孙子们知道自己那里做错。带着开朗的心情和我说笑。
爸爸：最疼我，因为我是女生。会关心我生活琐事。就算是我说的一些小小的事，也会牢牢的自在心里，然后再帮我实现那看起来微不足道，却能让我开心一整天的小愿望。每天上下班，赚钱供孩子读书。从不用为了孩子的学业烦恼，但时而不时就会问一问。看到成绩就会微笑，在以孩子为荣。
妈妈：最疼男生。每天放工回家做晚餐给孩子和老公吃。然后陪孩子读书，做功课，纠正错误。教育正确的观念。读故事书给孩子听，哄孩子睡觉。早上起来做早餐，目送孩子上学。
哥哥：成绩最好。弟弟妹妹的榜样。很有耐心。

sigh. none of it is happening in my family la can. except that my dad is still as nice. (: bro is still smart. (: my dad still loves me as much. (: that's all! yes! that's all! omg!

<3

2008-09-09T13:45:00.003+08:00

我相信奇迹。你呢？
我相信命中注定。你呢？
我相信缘份。你呢？

人生，就是如此的残忍吧。
给了自己希望，再由别人帮你毁灭。
那我宁愿自己不要活着。
必须让自己复活，是件超困难的事。
我不想去执行这种任务。

i dont want him.

<3

2008-09-06T19:04:00.003+08:00

i gave up. i hope it's the right choice. because it is right. i have to do it. and follow closely, making sure nothing went wrong. if things are supposed to go this way, then i think i have to really let go. no one can force it i suppose. fate, is something i hate but yet i have to believe that it exist. i come online, to see if u're online, to chat with you, to lighten up my day. i believe i dont the ability to lighten up your day, unlike some other people. as long as you are happy, everything seems to be so fine. i dont know why i am feeling this way. it might be all your fault. or the others. or myself. i just wanna forget. maybe life might remain as bad, but what i am to decide for everything?!

wo xi wang wo men jiang hui shi yong yuan de hao peng you. zai jian le.

<3

2008-09-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

我累了。。。

我真的真的很累了。。。

<3

2008-08-29T18:42:00.002+08:00

我好想念我们这一班。。。NTSS- E4/1'07

掩饰是我的专长；
逃避是我的最爱；
没信心是我的伙伴；
爱哭是我的伴侣；
坏脾气是我的“姐姐”。

我到底了解自己多少？我自己也不清楚。如果，我了解了，我会是怎样的一个人？

<3

2008-08-23T16:40:00.002+08:00

和一位朋友聊了很久。
心理的疑问还是没有解开。
这是为什么？
真的很难受。
真的有这么难吗？
就相信我那么一次，敷衍一下也好。
可以吗？

<3

yes. i regreted replying that sms.

2008-08-22T10:55:00.004+08:00

是这样吗？为什么我的答复是这样。
现在想一想，我好后悔。为什么我要把话说得那么死？！
早知道就不要答复了。我真的真的好后悔。
可是，为什么是你？！我自己也不明白。
是一位我们相处太久吗？还是因为你偶尔的小情趣？

你。。。
不好相处
对人超狠
说话不顾虑人家的感受
喜欢作弄人

可是，你。。。
很好玩
会逗人小
让人觉得很开心
笑话很冷，可是可以缓和气氛
“好”脾气
那有一点坏坏的感觉

总之，相信我，我很后悔。

<3

2008-08-05T09:56:00.002+08:00

为什么你不懂的东西，别人一定要懂？

为什么你可以很大声地说“我一直要教他们对的东西，你们却来搞破坏！？”

我真的是无话可说了。现在的我，不觉得烦了。只为你感到无奈。已走到这个年龄了，你还是无法和我们的想法有一点点的相同，就那么一点点也没有。你活在自己的世界里。你难道不觉得很痛苦吗？你把自己搞到这么累，一直执着于自己的想法，别人永远是错的，是没用的。你儿子再怎么坏，在你眼里永远是你的骄傲。你常说我是这个家里唯一的孙女，你不会偏心，可是，我觉得，自己连一颗沙也不如。这已不再是嫉妒心在作祟了，而是厌倦，讨厌，不想面对。你知道吗，我多讨厌会到这个家。我多想一直留在外面。我不想面对爷爷。他那冷酷的表情，不想和我说话的态度，不屑的眼神，让人很难受。是，那天是我很没礼貌的叫他不要吵了。可是，可以完全怪我吗？如果他不要每次都泼我们冷水，我真的很不想跟他翻脸。一起吃早餐又这么难吗？爸爸妈妈买的食物就不能吃吗？他的性格那么固执，我什么也不能说。就因为他是爷爷吗？我真的很不想管。他只想到自己，坚持自己的原则，到底有没有想过爸爸的感受？别说是早餐，就算是买一点宵夜回来，他会连看都不看一眼的就说“不要”。爸爸心里会怎么想？而且他是每一次都一样，听了就反感。根本就不想问。不问被骂没家教，问了又得承受那种眼光，谁会向要？！自私！你们大人都是那么自私！我讨厌你们！

<3

2008-08-01T16:41:00.002+08:00

今天，我终于了解了一个道理：每个人有不同的观念。

这是她告诉我的。我也只能说声对不起。但，我更想知道你的观念。但是你还是很不想和我讲话。我真的不知道我那里得罪了你。我也不想犯下同样的错误。因为我珍惜你这个朋友。如果你有看到，我只想说声，对不起。。

<3

2008-07-30T22:57:00.003+08:00

为什么？

如果你知道我在学校小所说的一切，所做的一切，你还会这样讲我吗？你们两个都是一样的。我真的很累了。我也不知道要说什么。说出来了，被骂顶嘴。不说，得默默地承受。很难受。我不想回家，不想面对你们。真的。。你们能多了解我一点吗？？

<3

2008-07-27T11:06:00.002+08:00

我做了很多恶梦。很可怕的恶梦。这两个印象最深的。

我梦见有人出殡。好可怕。不是怕什么，是怕看到照片上的脸。而且还是三个人。我很怕看到棺材。不知道为什么。为什么我的梦总是那么怪？！我明明知道我在哪里。可是，地方总是会变。

还有！我梦见自己被人追杀。你懂那有多可怕吗？！子弹不停的飞过来。想闪也很难。可是我不想死。千方百计想逃。却一点方法也没有。很可悲。

为什么会有这种梦。是我想太多了吗？我希望是。

再见了。

<3

2008-07-26T15:43:00.002+08:00

我真的很累了。谁能来救救我？

带我离开这黑暗的世界。求求你。

2008-07-25T13:37:00.002+08:00

每经过换装火花该怎麽绽放被击倒之前出现的是你肩膀

就凭一股倔强翻越不可能的墙要用每一道伤跟自己比赛茁壮

你们是我的星光留着眼泪陪我成长回忆在拥抱里灿烂

你们是我的星光让我们骄傲回头望曾经用生命歌唱约定了和你再遥望同一片星光

我终於明白跌倒不等於是投降散场只为了体会重逢有多温暖

擦乾泪水站上梦想舞台正中央但我却更渴望世界为了你鼓掌

你们是我的星光留着眼泪陪我成长回忆在拥抱里灿烂

你们是我的星光让我们骄傲回头望曾经用生命歌唱

约定了和你再遥望同一片星光

看见你眼里散发光芒我拥有照亮孤单黑夜的力量朝着未来去闯

你们是我的星光留着眼泪陪我成长回忆在拥抱里灿烂
你们是我的星光让我们骄傲回头望曾经用生命歌唱
约定了和你再遥望同一片星光是我的星光骄傲回头望
曾经用生命歌唱约定了和你再遥望同一片星光我们的星光你们是我的星光

yes. this is a song dedicated to all my important friends. cos i love all of u. for making my life colourful.

2008-07-22T23:29:00.002+08:00

这是个充满华文子的部落。

我想，只有利用华文，才能整整的表达我自己。

你曾想过，一个和你谈天说地，让你笑得合不拢嘴的好朋友，突然不和你联络了？

你曾想过，家里的人一个个离开你后，生活会变得怎样？

你曾想过，如果自己突然得了绝症，在最后一秒钟，你想做什么？

你曾想过，如果自己再睡一场觉之后就不再醒来了，家人会怎么办？

你曾想过，考试成绩出炉后，不理想，前途一片黑暗的你，要做什么？

你曾想过，世界上是否真的有天长地久。

你曾想过，自己活在世上的意义。

我想了一切的一切。凡事都要往对的方面想。可是，事实在所难料。我愿意在所不惜的付出，为了家人，朋友，甚至是陌生人。我要的，只是真心。真的有这么难吗？如果是世界末日，人还会这么自私自利吗? 每个人活着，都有自己的意义，记得，珍惜，因为一定会有人为你而难过。

<3

2008-07-21T15:14:00.002+08:00

this blog shall be updated again. (: because, i have some good news. (beware! i am high!)

do u miss me? i hope u really do. because i really do miss you. ur voice, ur lame joke, ur filrting. hahas. (: do make me laugh like shit..

Bcomm 5% oral presentation is over. i dont think i did very well. but they said it was okay. i really do hope so. (: i think i didnt smile enough.

Elisse, i hope u like the presents i choose. (: i love u! <3

Jane is feeling much better now. (: after saying her feelings out. i am always here.

Xuanyi dear is feeling very tired. rmb, i am always here. massage, swim, relax in the pool. (:

See how much i am smiling today? hahas. (: yes, i am loving myself more and more.

<3,>

2008-04-26T13:49:00.003+08:00

-----------------------------------------------gone------------------------------------------------------

read the other blog for updates. those who doesn't know the other blog url, sorry.

<3, never the same.

2008-04-23T10:04:00.004+08:00

i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry.

this is a post for bryan. but he is ignoring me, avoiding me...

<3

2008-04-22T19:12:00.002+08:00

275th post. i am dying. fall sick today. and tml have swimming lesson. wth... 好痛苦哦！had fever this noon.came back home to take med. but couldn't slp. got hungry and gastric start to hurt.so is my heart.

<3

2008-04-22T11:43:00.002+08:00

since i am online chatting now then i might as well update a little. had lesson from 9 to 10 just now. den went out for lunch with chee chye. then came back to sch for lesson at 12. =D but i didn't finish the hw. hehe. no choice, really don't know how to do... after that will have lecture from 2 to 3 and it's home time! =D walk home? maybe. spend a lot on bus fare today already... sian sian... ok. lesson gonna start soon...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ERIC!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, PEI RONG!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, 姑姑！

<3

2008-04-21T10:21:00.002+08:00

morning! =D i am still at home... preparing for school... lesson will be starting at 12 and ending at 4. bstat and bcomm tutorial for today... hope i'll enjoy it because i can't do my bstat tutorial worksheet! damn shit. nevermind. i shall learn during tutorial today. i spent a few hours on microeconomic chapter one yesterday, revising what the lecturer said last week. all the textbooks are so wordy. sigh. what to do?! still have to study... life is so stressful.

<3

2008-04-19T22:27:00.003+08:00

someone is ignoring me... =( i m depress. i am not desperate! but that idiot is ignoring me! not talking to me. i am so tired of waiting... how?! i am very.... very... err.... 烦。为何你那么insensitive?!! fcuker! 我快要被你气死了啦! 为什么我的心情会被你牵连？！

sigh... i m studying... but i fell asleep after finishing my citation homework. hehe. went to the market in the morning, after that bathed and started doing my hw... read a little bit of newspaper, fell aslp, wrap my textbooks(waiting at the same time), went out to top up ez-link card, home, dinner, bank, home, blogging, waiting~~~~, still waiting... =( leaving, disappointed... that's all for today... nights peeps.

john tan! dun remeber, 1st may! hehe!

<3

2008-04-18T17:55:00.002+08:00

suddenly feel like uploading some photos. so... there! today blogger loaded very fast.lol.

this is lim shi wei again. =D

this is act cool buay cool.lol. i admit myself la hor. xp

kim and i!
today is friday!!! =D ok. lol. chatting with chee chye is fun. lol. i can bhb till extreme ends.had 2 different lectures today. INFA was what i learnt before school started. bought all my textbooks le. haha. weekends are for studying? i suppose so ba... for me at least...gonna pia!! CT is like starting on 31st may?! wth.lol. that's so fast. diploma plus.. econs? or add math?! add math again when i already got A le meh?! don't know. anyway is second year den can take de. so don't want let it bother about me now. one more week and korkor is coming back! lol. but he'll have to go back after the weekend. have nothing much to update. enjoy school everyone! i miss all of you!! =D ALL!

<3

2008-04-16T18:20:00.003+08:00

我好怀念以前的日子。但人不能一直回头看。朋友们，你们还记得我吗？害怕被遗忘的心情谁能了解？无助、难过、痛恨。会有这么一天吗？谁能给我一个很肯定的答复？我能相信谁？背叛是友情里最要不得的，你们到知道吗？！
=) hi people. having a great time in poly/jc? cca? classmates? tutors? lecturers? went to mum's office to print notes out in the morning. went to school for lesson at 1pm. a very young tutor. amelia. haha. had a great time. everyone was so friendly and i manage to speak up during game times oso. creativity, no see what everyone see but think of what no one thought of. my lesson for today. haha. met my 2nd primary school friend today, sherman. was surprise he actually remembered my name because we were playing the name game. so sian. i was the 4th last... there was at least 15 in front of me. lol. but till now, i can remeber all their name, just that i don't know how to spell them out. got my ez-link card.

sorry! i know it looks ugly and blur. =p. had lunch with victor in canteen 1. joined swimming for SW(not shiwei, is sports and wellness) i wanted yoga. but then there was limited space. and i got pissed off with some "act act" ah lian behind me. anyway, yea, mr thomas was funny. lol. "there is a different between life-saving and swimming! life-saving you get to go mouth to mouth, but if u do mouth to mouth during swimming, you end up in jail.so, if you like soccer, join aerobics, if you like aerobics, join soccer. but! for bball is another case, if you can bounce a ball and throw a ball into the net with the board, you join netball." zzz! like wth?! lol. ok la. his jokes are funny. he is stern, but still joke around. =) after that came home at 5... rest, bathe and online! ok. i have a four hours break in between lesson tomorrow. what should i do? come back and catch a short nap? lol. yea, i think i'll. nothing to do in school anyway. going to have a workshop for bcomm tomorrow... =)it's project time! i am learning how to speak up my own opinion and mix with my classmates. got to know 20 new friends today. ok. that's all for today. bye friends!!

<3

2008-04-15T20:43:00.005+08:00

this is LIM SHI WEI! LOL!

mad girl~ lol..

my didi's birthday cake! =)

ok. i m just bored. yea,so those two pics on top was for entertainment purpose. lol. shi wei, you don't mind right?? hehe. nvm la, anyway you'll find yourself chio. LOL. today is the second day of school. one hour of ITB. quite boring.. project to be done by week 6 ... sian. tomorrow is IS lessons. 4 hours. wth! alone some more. or should i say, i know no one.lol. i joining archery for cca. =)enjoy school everyone! LZX rocks the world..
<3

2008-04-14T21:23:00.006+08:00

finally manage to get some photos. =) today is the first day of school. lesson 1: business communication. the laptop was freaking heavy because i put it in my bag.=.=... luckily tomorrow don't have to bring. one hour lecture before i head for the ccs fiesta with xuanyi. i still have no idea what i am going to join.shall update more tomorrow.

JUMP!!

jonathan(SB) and i

avenger 3!!!!

that is xuanyi. =)

ok. stupid blogger. i only manage to upload three pics. today is xuanyi's special day anyway. so, this is for you gal!! lol. sheng ri kuai le!
p.s, eric ask me to wish you happy birthday on behalf of him! =)

<3

2008-04-14T09:35:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEE XUANYI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEH PEI SHENG!

I feel so controlled. early in the morning, she was on the phone, screaming her head off. in the end, i realised that it was auntie patsy at the other end of the line. don't konw what is happening between the adults. things have been going the wrong way in my house. or should i say, the whole family. it is not easy to survive here.
have tutorial for 1bcomm1 later.. freaking sian. from 2 to 4.. walk home after that. =)i love walking. unless it is raining.i am so irritated by my grandma la! fucked up.

thank you jane for helping me with my blog template!

我的话不多不会讨好
一句我爱你都说不好
全世界相求都没解药
只有你给我微笑
该怎么去爱我没学好
太多的招式我没记牢
原来牵了手就会知道
爱情不需要套招
这招只有你知道

beautiful lyrics. for you and for me. =) [you= those reading my blog, so bryan, dont ask me who is the 'you' le]

<3

2008-04-13T20:39:00.001+08:00

i love today. =)early in the morning woken up by a phone call. 7+. everyone at home got woken up by that phone call. then went to the market with parents and younger bro. bought breakfast home. wanted to go cycling at pasir ris, but grandfather doesn't want to, so grandma decided not to go too. in the end change of plan, went to grandma's hse. played one round of mahjong and won 16 bucks. after that was chatting online with shiwei and bryan. home to pick grandparents for dinner. headed to sunset way and ate in a HK restaurant. very full. after that home and deathnote! sleeping is a waste of time!!! lol.

<3

2008-04-12T23:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEANE WOO!

<3

2008-04-12T09:25:00.002+08:00

peiwen,zhiya,me

junqi

the act cool gals:dawn, hui yi, zhiya

lol. there is a lot a lot of photos to be uploaded. but i have not receive them yet. so next time. didnt manage to get a pic of jia wei, quite sad. lol. but he looked super shuai. =)then we have xue jun, junqi, zhiya, nadira to represent avenger 3 for the group skid. we got high yesterday. lol. and had lots of fun in the convention centre. met shiwei in the morning then tour around the school.. after that made her walk...LOL. very evil, i know, but.. it's fun. bought chocolate for avenger 3 to eat. dawn ate a lot when she was not suppose to eat any because of her manly and sexy voice.after the whole concert, we started to take lots of photos. no more fun, back to serious work now. sigh. lol. so sad right?! only when we started to get high, everything just end like that.3 days isn't short, but it wasn't very long either.i kept thinking about freya after that. =( ... korkor has gone into ns yesterday. i heard that his commander very young.. hehex. and the environment isn't that mad anymore. but he has no bolster.lol. will he be able to fall asleep? have to sleep with my younger brother now. he keep dropping things down last nights. zzz. pillow, bolster.i love my sleep.lol. though i got woken up by screamings again. hard life. grandpa is getting more and more unreasonable. feng liang hua yi da dui... damn. so irritating. =(

<3

2008-04-11T21:25:00.002+08:00

i am so super pissed off now, so i am going to sleep any forget everything! lousy blogger and msn!

<3

2008-04-10T20:00:00.002+08:00

dawn(SB), hui yi(SB), me, pei wen.

i am so tired. the mass dance not very successful ... lol. too bad. who ask them to make us dance so late when everyone wants to go home?! but the four of us was having a fun time doing "magic~~" lol. ho ho ho. dawn went mad. haha. and i realise hui yi is scare of balloon! lol. i turn around to take balloon only and she went missing. zzz. dawn is a very fun SB. lol. oh yea, today is games day. lol. lots of games. and we had lots of fun. must check if it is possible to get the photos from jonathan. played new games while waiting. learnt new cheers. ate nice food. know new friends. overall was fun. just that hours was long...

can i know what is wrong wearing fbt shorts?! why am i getting scoldings from my grandparents after wearing fbt shorts?! "why you wearing so short shorts?!" "why so transparents?!" wtf?! ask the person who make fbt shorts la. ask me?! i only buy and wear?! what's wrong!

went to clementi to meet xuanyi for breakfast today. she is a BIG BIG BIG eater. lol. xuanyi, you remember a lady sat with us?! i saw in sch after that when u left to assemble with ur group. wth?! den she stare at me and i stare at her. LOL.i stunned there la! anyway, she reached and started eating something again. ho ho ho. i m going to have panda eyes very fast. i am sooooooo sleepy! zzz. see you people!

<3

2008-04-09T15:44:00.003+08:00

no, i don't like it. LOL. the weather is so freaking hot! and what?! tour around the school.... sebestian, jonathan, dawn and hui yi. avengers 3's SB. dawn is smallre size than me and she is calling me xiao bu dian. i was like "huh?!" lol. week one has no tutorial! and my is lessons are from week 7 to 12 i think. lol. which means next week, i have no sch on monday and wednesday. tuesday only one hour of lecture. thursday and friday have a 2 and 3 hours break in between respectively. ok. soon, i'll check out what books i need and the printing of lectures notes! i have yet to buy see xuanyi's present!! cannot! i was thinking of skipping friday to go to tekong with my korkor. should I?? no one want to write the excuse letter for me! LOL. how i wish he doesn't have to go.. anyway, it's okay! =)have to assemble at 8am tomorrow because some people were late today! anyway, my group people not high one. in the end i am also not high. cheering was so soft. unlike the one in ajc..memorable lo... ajc-ians! i miss all of you! i shall work hard in poly. =)

<3 .. oooh~ a holiday~~

2008-04-08T16:27:00.003+08:00

back from badminton. i didn't know i am so stupid. go play badminton and make my muscle ache when i orientation tomorrow... WAN TING! SMART GIRL! LOL. sean and xuanyi came. felix pang seh. say don't wanna bring laptop out then don't want to come with us.an uncle joined us half way.and xuanyi was 'playing' with him most of the time..after that sean met up with his friend and shi wei came. sean bought his maroon shirt and i bought my light blue shirt. for our orientation which is starting tomorrow. after that went to ntuc to get the things grandma need for dinner. then there was this auntie who came to kaypo kaypo. ask what i need. den she thought i am the one cooking then i say, nope, is grandma want to cook curry. then she say what err i can be her grand-daughter already. ask for my age(same as her grand-daughter). den suddenly she feb. i stared at her "same, i also feb" "25" "22" then she was like "wow such a small world!" zzz. anyway, i was looking for blue ginger. lol. xuanyi and shiwei was like "i thought only got one kind of ginger" haha. two nuns who live on the mountain. looked for the coconut milk for very long. two items only la. after leaving the supermarket, we headed to the coffee shop. shiwei was very hungry (according to her), so she and i order kaya toast with 2 half boiled egg and a cup of drinks. she is a slow eater. lol.xuanyi ate a expensive popiah. LOL. and it is quite small. but the vege was hot la, so it tasted ok. then went home!
SEE XUANYI! NEXT TIME DONT WEAR SLIPPERS TO PLAY BADMINTON!
LIM SHI WEI! DON'T FORGET OUR BADMINTON AND BOWLING DATE!
<3

2008-04-08T10:07:00.002+08:00

speechless. that's me now.. i have no idea what to do and what to say. shutting my mouth up and sealing my brain and contact with the outside world is what i enjoy doing now. silent, playing my psp at home, chatting with only shiwei, xuanyi, sean and felix online ... preparing mentally for sch to open and start. i am in no mood to do anything except to lie on my bed and stare at the feeling. "bad day" ... yea, it's nice yet affecting my mood ... very. no passion for school, for nothing at all.

going to play badminton with xuanyi and sean later. think i'll just die there. lol. too long didn't play le. after that if got time must go buy shirt! light blue!avengers 3 must win!! LOL. beat the daredevil and xmen. wahaha.ok. i m high not because of the orientation but because of the cheer competition. watched alvin and the chipmunks last night. not bad. a short movie. chipmunks are smart animals. haha!dave,uncle ian, clare. lol. alvin, simon, theodore! =)

<3. forgotten in the dark...

2008-04-07T20:38:00.002+08:00

Alvin and the chipmunks version.

bad day

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

<3, i think it is making me emo...

2008-04-07T09:46:00.002+08:00

it is only 946am now! and i am watching videos! lol. no la, because grandma will be home by 130pm. which means i cannot watch video after 130pm! =) will go to clementi to meet yiren ltr at 1145 to collect the stuff she bought from taiwan for me.wanted to go stage with her. but then... sigh..not allowed to. but who cares, i'll go one day! tomorrow will be badminton with xuanyi and friends. lol. nothing more to update already. c ya!

<3

2008-04-06T21:52:00.004+08:00

went to pray early in the morning with grandma, 4th lao yi, eng yi, youngest lao yi, mum and dad.... ok. pity me. while my two brothers are enjoying their time at home, one with the tv, one with my laptop, i am out there, letting my tears roll out without much ability to control them because of the smoke in the air. lol. my mum was saying that we were simply too touch.lol. heck her, i think you all won't understand her joke. anyway, yea, after praying, home for lunch-porridge. don't like, but still ate because there was lor duck! lol. one of my fav food. after that took a shower before leaving to grandma's house. the blueblacks on my thigh and arm are more obvious now, but not as serious as mum's old injuries. went to pick korkor up at fullerton in the evening. damn, my heart aches. lol. my bro told us fullerton, we went to fullerton hotel. then he says he is at one fullerton, not fullerton hotel, so my dad went through the underground carpark which links both building together. and what the hell! there is no grace period and it is $5 per entry! take note everyone. omg. that was real bad la. not even one minute inside can?! and $5 deducted. *faint* ate waruku at marina square before going home. waruku's chi hi peach seriously sucks. i ordered and the person was like "this contain alcohol"
me: it's okay, i want one.
he: we can't sell alcohol like that, can you show me your identity card?
me(turning to the lady beside me): ma, help me order.
mum: can i have a cup of this?
he: for yourself?
mum: yea.
LOL... too bad. i want it means i want it...anyway, it sucks can?!!! after my first, i was like "mummy!nam seng clinic's fever medicine! yucks!" ... and my korkor drank it(started laughing) "medicine syrup" .. i wanted to like, finish it all in one mouth, but since young, i always puke all my medicine out after eating. and the stupid waiter always walk pass our table. walk past still nvm, like to turn and see if i am drinking. TWICE!! when i was about to drink it, my mum says "lai le lai le!!" den we will start laughing there because i'll have to put it down. ok. the meal wasn't very cheap. $105 for 5 people... but their noodle was good. new food, so i tried with mummy. yellowtail sashimi rocks!! lol. it is the best in the sashimi plate, as usual. =) deathnote is showing on tv now.

<3

2008-04-05T15:53:00.001+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

i agree totally. =)

2008-04-05T12:29:00.002+08:00

i read the entertainment news this morning. saw the news on luo zhi xiang praying to his dad. he said that he clearly heard his dad telling him to look after his mum. without knowing, he started crying. heartache, not because it is luo zhi xiang. but from the view of someone who loves his parents so much so much. he lost his dad 3 years ago, when he was only 25?! everytime he holds a concert, he'll always ask the person-in-charge is they kept a place for his dad. he fulfil his wishes. he is a great,famous but yet humble person now. people, love your parents please! really. treasure. you only have one father and one mother in your whole life. i wonder if i will be able to stand the agony when my grandparents and parents pass away one day. will i be able to stay strong? i hope so, but i think i won't. leaving with them every single day now. thinking that they might leave one day make me not able to get angry and rebuke them everytime they scold me... i am so afraid that i'll regret. i want to do everything they need and want and hope that i do.

korkor is going in to ns this coming friday. and the fcuking problem is that i have orientation and i m wondering if i m able to write them a letter and skip the last day of orientation. kor, what if i start crying there?! so embarrassing sia. but i think i'll start crying at night when i sleep. i sound so stupid, crying everytime. nvm. who cares, i also won't disturb anyone when i cry. it's always alone in the room on my bed between my pillows. KORKOR! TAKE CARE K?! I KNOW WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER LIKE IN 2 WEEKS TIME AGAIN RIGHT?! I WILL USE THAT AS A REASON NOT TO CRY. =) I <3 YOU!

<3

2008-04-04T18:17:00.003+08:00

fcuk! lol. i fell down the stairs. damn it... then everyone shocked. haha. sorry la~ very loud mah. pain like siao. but then i was like "wo mei shi!" lol. den go into toilet to pee.ok. why the hell am i embarrassing myself here like that?! HAHA. fnish typing eric's letter. will post out by tml. mandy auntie ordered a big big big shou tao (the pink colour pao?) den intside have another 48 small ones.lol. so funny. all of us here was like peeling and eating away the outer layer. outer layer tasted nicer than the inner one. cos the inner one i think steam 2 time, thats y dry dry hard hard de.. nvm, i only ate the outer layer anyway. lol. =) and i amd super full now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA!
haha. going home soon.

<3, forget it, my dear. i am so tired of it.

2008-04-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

FOR LIM SHI WEI TO READ!

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

<3

2008-04-03T13:43:00.003+08:00

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
25-28??

2. What is your hobby?
reading chinese romance stories, sleeping, listening to songs.

3. Who is the person you trust most?
Me, myself and i

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
taiwan. because luo zhi xiang is there!

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
I want more dreams to come true. =D

6. What do u treasure most in a friendship/relationship?
The time spent with each other.

7. What are you most afraid to lose now?
Those i love.

8. Do you believe in eternal love?
yes! why not?!

9. If you meet someone whom you love, would you confess to him/her?
It depends.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
(Song Hua) caring, patience, humble.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
trustable, sensitive.(at least can realise very quickly if my mood changes)

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
HYPOCRITICAL, smokers.

13. What is your ambition?
don't know yet.

14. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
point out. then at lest i know where went wrong and i can change!

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
health!(actually also family)

16. What song would you dedicate to the person who tagged you, and why?
(funky town) you intro this song to me remember??

17. At this point of time, would you rather stay in your comfort zone or try something new?
stay in my comfort zone.

18. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?
Someone whom they can trust and share their woes with.

19. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
bad tempered. sorry to those who stay by my side all the time!

20. What makes you different?
I am just so special. hehex.

Tag: SHIWEI! XUANYI! SEAN! BRYAN! JANE! NICOLE! CHUIFANN! JANICE! BOON LONG! EVERYONE!

2008-04-03T11:46:00.003+08:00

as usual, woke up by my grandma's voice. every morning she have to nag nag nag, scold scold scold. irritating. then she was talking to me grandfather, when suddenly she ask me "wan ting, wo xing qi er da dian hua hui lai ni bu zai jia, qu le na li?!"..lol. then i shocked.say i go accompany my friend who was at home alone. lol. den we study our own stuff. anyway, yea, i had my heavy breakfast then came into mum's room to watch movie. "sheng ri kuai le" aka HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HK production by rene liu and gu tian le.a movie screen last year i think. can't rmb. the guy died in the end, but he lied to the girl that he is getting married and moving to other country. so sad. at the end of the show, the girl is still kept in the dark. poor gal. slacking at home today.. wanted to go to shiwei's hse. but don't think i can get out of MY house... lol. or else i would already say yes to xuanyi's date.
STAGE!! YES! IT IS OPENING THIS SATURDAY AT FAR EAST #02-60! YES YES YES! FINALLY!!
=( shi wei and sean going malaysia tml!!den no one to chat with le! so sad! got to prepare xuanyi's present! oh no oh no! xuanyi, what do you want?! LOL. i want a boyfriend! but!!! i m not despo k. only say say mah. does not mean really must have one right?! =) must concentrate on studies! hehex. CHAN WAN TING IS A GUAI KIA!SHI WEI, ALL I CAN SAY IS, U SUAY LA~ JIA YOU. ZU DONG YI DIAN BA... LOL.

<3

2008-04-02T22:11:00.002+08:00

LOL!! I HAD REACH HOME SAFELY!!LOL! in case you all were wondering, i was in a car drove by my korkor who had just gotten his licence 1 month ago. this is the first time. lol. nervous, but with mummy in the car, i felt safer because mummy can correct him. lol. freaking funny. i went to video ezy with korkor while mummy waited in the car. den the moment we stepped out of the shop, he was like "ah, cham liao!" lol. den i ask him what happen? "cannot reverse out!" lol. i realise that there is car in front and behind ours. so mummy ask him to go slow lo. "nice" ride. not as bad as i thought. but not as good either. haha.when he turns out of the carpark, he can't keep to the first lane, overshot, went to the second lane.lol. my mum was still telling him don't cut lane. parking in our own carpark is another scary one. he was trying to park into a small space, lucky the car parking al the beside slot is a mini car.lol. my neighbour korkor's car. and yay! he managed to park properly. the moment i step out of the car, i told my mum "mummy, i am home!" haha... =) wonderful experience.

<3

2008-04-01T19:16:00.002+08:00

shi wei, congrats. grandma was as pissed off as i was in the evening. you better don't tell me you're smoking next time or i make sure i'll slap you in front of everyone! i don't understand why you turn like this. but can u please, change back to a good student?! so disappointing. i want to help you, but not when you are in such a state. SHI WEI!! CHEER ME UP!! lol. lim shi wei ... i miss you!! lol. but i know u very high la.. jia you le!! dun like me, hum ji.lol. ok. went to junior's hse today...taught her physic.lol. her math really dying... den sw told me her gd news. and she is still waiting for my news. lol. shiwei, i think ni shi bai deng le. because i think i'll be too timid to do anything. wahaha. and i m so mad to admit it here. =)

<3

2008-03-31T19:04:00.002+08:00

hi. xuanyi, felix, sean and shi wei came. had our steamboat. thank you so much to my grandma for preparing the stuff for us. sean came earlier at 1140 and we started frying the chicken wings at 12. oops, sean burnt his arm. and i almost put my finger into the hot boiling oil.lol. after that shi wei and felix reached. then xuanyi and we started our steamboat lunched! as usual, shi wei got suan like mad again. the she kept burping.freaking funny. she even gave warning b4 she burps. but they were all late warning because she say half way burp liao. we all went mad with the horny wahjong.lol. ok. only the 5 of us know what am i talking about. u people all had fun here? =) so glad that i actually organise this steamboat session for all of us to meet out. the next meeeting will be on xuanyi's birthday! xuanyi and felix left earlier at around 520. after that, i brought shi wei and sean out with my younger bro and a bball. have to share court with 2 other youngsters. we went mad once again with cheers. lol. played till 630 and went to have a drink. shi wei, thanks for the fries, felix, thanks for the udon.xuanyi, thanks for my present, sean, thanks for coming earlier to help me. =) i love all of u.. haha. i had a great time... and after they left, i realised something, we didn't take photos. haha. will be out tomorrow noon...

<3... worried.

2008-03-30T00:07:00.002+08:00

sat- got pissed off by the adults today. all i can say is "selfish".ok. forget about the afternoon matter. went to jec to meet up with my dear lao jie mei wan jing.lol. wan ting and wan jing went to eat long john silver. they had a hard time deciding what they wanted to eat. after that the two wans went to take neoprints!!! twice=2 times.lol. although some pictures were not well taken, they are so precious to the two of them. this is their 2 month knowing-each-other anniversary. lol. the neoprints are lying safely in their wallet right now. they promised to meet out again very soon and go k box to go lzx lzx lzx all the way. =) wanjing, bff! ni zhe ge lao jie mei yong yuan zai zhe li. don't say i have lao ren chi dai anymore hor! lol. because i don't.

sun- grandpa's birthday lunch at millenium walk mushroom pot.

monday- steamboat at home with xuanyi. shiwei, felix, sean.

<3

2008-03-26T16:06:00.002+08:00

hi! lol. had a great time chatting with shi wei this morning... thank you. she's suppose to come to my house... =( but her mama don't allow. haha. all i can say is, she don't know how to lie. haha. watched D.I.E on tudou.after was lunch. and next up is movie! watch flash point. grandma called to ask if i want to watch any movie. but there was nothing nice to watch. so i stayed at home. int he end i decided to watch vcd.lol. flash point. err. i think it was movie showed a few years back. quite nice. like gu tian le. went to bathe after the movie. when i came out of the bathroom, my grandpaa suddenly pop out and say grandma called my name but i didn't reply. shocked. i thought grandpa lying to me. in the end i found grandma in her room. realised that she was not feeling well and skip her movie section. sigh. now she is resting in her room. looks like dinner is going to be a terrible one. haha. hope grandma don't keep falling sick. or else i'll be so worry for her when she goes overseas next month.
shi wei told me that rely... is it?! no one has the ans to my qn...

<3

2008-03-25T12:11:00.003+08:00

still feeling empty.
have no idea what to do.
it's not easy.
i knew this would happen one day.
and now, it has happened.
bu xiang qu xiang tai duo, yin wei na ye yu shi wu bu.
li yong zhe duan shi jian lai fan xing, dui wo lai shuo yin gai shi jian hao shi ba.
kong xu de xin zhen de bu zhi dao gai zen yang cai hao.
yi qie gai jie shu le ma?

anyone can understand this post? i doubt so.

<3, no, it is not so easy to...

2008-03-24T13:47:00.003+08:00

ok. i'm tired. slept late at ard 12 last night when i know i'm suppose to wake up early this morning. and of course, i still woke up early this monring... at 6am... went to office with grandma... den after that off to ngee ann poly with sean to settle the laptop stuff. there was this gal, who was soooo smart.lol. put in the charger, but then didn't on switch. smart. and she shouted "how come the charger doesn't light up?!" freak her la... after that took 61 to queensway. lol.

this cute little boy actually followed me all the way. everyone was so shocked. this is the very first time he actually came near me and followed me out. but he was scare of sean. haha.ate mac... now at mum's office. going home soon... after auntie mandy settle my psp. tml is rest day at home. =)

<3

2008-03-23T16:34:00.002+08:00

not in a good mood. cos in pain for 2 days le... and jane, i'm sorry.

<3

2008-03-22T16:49:00.002+08:00

chatting with LIM SHI WEI online now... she's despo for a bf.lol. joking joking. later she come and slaughter me den reject my bowling date with her. talked bout future bfs,food, money, how to jio guys, our families, bt, jw..... a lot a lot. lol. fun~ but we two like hum ji.. a lot of excuses.LIM SHI WEI, JIA YOU! lol. ok. hmmm. whole day at home today.slacked, check bro's homework, cook lunch, read acc book, chat on msn, eat, plaay psp.lol. aiya, wanna say sian oso cannot. lol. webcam with jason and shiwei.that's all for today. tonight got luo zhi xiang!!! =)

<3

2008-03-22T00:23:00.002+08:00

it's late now. n i'm so bored. was so tired the whole day today and yet i can't fall asleep now... tmd... video also cannot watch. boon long gonna slp, chuifann gonna slp, jason editting music, eric on phone with mum... aiya, dunno la. korkor still playing psp behind me. bet he can't sleep oso. so wad i'm gonna do is...... read my comic book again ... lol. continue reading. went to je to make grandma's specs this morning. den received sms, hence started smsing......... den send grandma to 4th lao yi's hse, lunched at tanglin mall, headed to ah ma's hse... till 810pm! luckily got hot milo to drink again. uncle william.lol. every week make milo for me. really very nice. =) thank you nicole for the warm egg pudding oso. i love them. watched bai fen bai. lie down on mattress very long. in the end i can't stand it anymore, went to the playground with nicole and went to walk ard in anchorpoint.and den was home. ok. short day. tml, i'll head back into my book.lol. i oso dunno y. very long dint touch my book le. and! no sms till 5pm. lol. at night duo mao mao have luo zhi xiang!! wahaha. thinking of that make me super high.okok. shd go and slp le. so late now. =) nights! (actually is morning already)

<3

2008-03-20T13:21:00.000+08:00

hi peeps. was reading some news in yahoo website. there was this title:disfigured woman found dead after French court rejects euthanasia. so i was curious and went to read it. ok. at first i didn't know what in the world was euthanasia, but after reading the whole news, i realise it is 'an le si' in chinese. lol. i know my english lousy, but at least i found out the meaning. anyway, back to the news. i wanted to out her picture here. but i'm afraid thet it'll freak people out..lol.
"Sebire learnt in 2002 that she had developed an esthesioneuroblastoma, an uncommon malignant tumour in the nasal cavity, which she said had led to "atrocious" suffering.
"In 2000, I lost the sense of smell and taste... and I lost my sight in October 2007," she said in the television interview."
actually i think that the court should simply approve. firstly, she's suffering in pain, physically and mentally. secondly, do you think she'll that stupid till she don't know how to find life-terminating drugs through other means?
"Sebire's death came on the same day as 78-year-old Belgian author Hugo Claus's death by euthanasia while suffering from Alzheimer's disease.Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg are the only European Unions that currently allow euthanasia."
life is so meaninglesss when you can't do anything at all. lossing sight is worse than being blind the moment of birth.what's worse than lossing 3 senses in s short period of seven years?! even death is much more better than all the suffering.
ok. i'm just bored... will be home the whole day as usual. won't be going to china with grandparents anymore because they will be going on the 26th april when sch would had started. meals will become a big problem. sigh~ dinner ah!! my dinner!!! lol. looks like i have to let my younger brother have his lunch in school le. korkor will be in NS, parents will be working. how i hope the maid won't be here anymore. then i dont have to worry about so much. kns.

<3

2008-03-19T16:13:00.002+08:00

grandma is at home the whole day today. but the day seems to be quite okay. we watched 'jian gui 10' in the morning. damn. it's so freaky. lol. but it was hilarious at the same time. haha. both my grandparents were laughing all the way there. and i was hiding behind my pillow. but to think back now, actually it wasn't that scary. i was too timid.hope i'll be able to fall asleep tonight... =)after that was porridge for lunch. as usual, the maid's cooking doesn't look as nice as grandma's.so i didn't had a lot. after lunch, it's time for the four coloured cards!! at first we were playing the usual 20-cards each style. but then afterwards, grandparents decided to teach me the 25-cards ... more confusing. haha. and only can be played between 2 persons. unlike 20-cards, we can play in 3s... though it's a kind of gambling, i realised that the player need to be able to concentrate well enough, and must learn to think fast. because if the person only stick to one method, most likely he/she can't win. switching the cards around in your hands and holding 25 cards vertically in your hand's ain't easy...
that's all for today. =)

<3

2008-03-18T19:58:00.002+08:00

I <3 WONG CHUIFANN, MY GUI!!

2008-03-18T19:18:00.002+08:00

finally bought my laptop. can very obivously notice the bu shuang on my grandma's face just becuase my laptop is S$1605... she was saying those feng ci de hua.forget it. i oso not buy for fun de... bored. i realise that i drank lots of milo today again.. so had stomachache... noon, met sean at np den went to get laptops. after that i proceed to the bank. den everyone was staring at my laptop cos i simply dump it on the chair and went to queue.lol. but i can still see it what. people also won't steal. after that is back home le. ate lunch. den was so tired till i fell aslp when i was reading the guidebook. but! someone called my, my phone rang, and i got woken up. but still, i dint pick up the person's phone call. as expected,that person called my house number and..... i still dint answer.lol. ok la. but i woke up and came online to answer his question. see, ain't i kind?! lol.ok. jkjk. den on the laptop to dl msn... watch bai fen bai. omg! today's bai fen bai damn nice la. is magic competition. and is professional magicians performing, not those celebraties... korkor oso watched with me. freaking funny oso. nothing to type liao. c ya!

<3

2008-03-18T10:03:00.004+08:00

hey! i'm back from my walk! lol. went to walk at bbnp with auntie patsy ... join the group who was doing workout there. i look so damn weird la. the only teenager i supposed? lol. aiya, who cares. i'm old anyway. 17 le leh! lol. going to ngee ann poly afterwards to get my laptop den going ocbc bank to get the thumb print for my interbank giro form. that's all for now. i got to bathe. c ya!!
oh yea, someone wanna see her name here.

LIM SHI WEI

2008-03-17T19:09:00.002+08:00

done with my NP application. there was this page where i m suppose to check whether my enrollment is successful. but then it can only be checked from 1 Apr - 4 Apr... so i was thinking : what if my enrolment is not successful?! what am i supposed to do then? hope nothing wrong went wrong... i pray hard man. =)

Chan Wan Ting hates studying... how? can't get motivated. especially when i have to interact with another new group of people. and and and! i hope my timetable is not like shiwei's current timetable. lecture is conducted only on thursday. please! i rather have lectures than tutorial when we have to present project or if more stupid, some teachers might want to do ice breaking. i hope not. if not i'll just slam the table and walk out of the class room.lol. joking joking. like as if i'll dare to.

going for dinner. this morning's post was shit. so i think can don't bother reading it. =)

<3

2008-03-17T10:15:00.004+08:00

march holiday is over! that's fast, isn't it?! grandma is planning to go to china. so i might be following her... dunno. 10 days. but they're not following a tour. so i'm fine with it.. depends... lol. i don't know how to reject anyway.. okok. don't talk about it le.
lol. yesterday morning was fun... as usual, the adults were going to market. den i fake slp..lol. den after that when they went out, i come out to brush my teeth. lol. mum came back up and started asking if anyone wanna go sheng song with them. den i was like "ok lo." and my younger bro woke up very quickly cos he wanna go oso.zzz. he thinks that he'll be allowed to buy a lot of things lo. but too bad. lol. came back. maid went out, so hafta help with the packing of stuff. bathe and went out.dad brought use to the tanglin halt car showrooms... sian one lo. cos they wanna buy one more car. oh yea, i forgot to mention ... KORKOR PASSED HIS DRIVING TEST! ... yea. but i still don't dare to sit in the car if he's going to drive la...lol. after that was lunch at great world city den ah ma's hse... very bored there. but in the end ah yi came to play the four coloured cards with me. den she taught my cousin oso. lol. so fun la.d en after that was suntec to look for grandparents and dinner there (food fair). den i suay suay, shared table with two aunties. they were the typical "san1 gu1 liu4 po2" type. keep talking.. den one of them was like "you sec 1 or sec 2?" (in chinese la) ... i stunned. and say i in poly liao. den nvm leh. they ask was i study la.den my mum say "kuai4 ji4" (accountancy).. one of the auntie was like
"that one no use one lo. my son go study den now no work oso. hafta spend more money to learn other things now"
and the auntie was like
"ur son take like business one rite?! hers is accountancy mah, different la"
*not convince* "same de la. that one no use de lo"
wanted to slap her. tmd. is ur son stupid rite?! how can study business den no use. he wan can even find some partner and start a business la. dun curse me lo... chicken egg... don't know what's her problem...
went to pasir ris park on sat. went cyclilng with my younger brother... relaxing. =)

<3

2008-03-14T14:20:00.002+08:00

ok. i still can't manage to upload the photos... so... forget it... i'm not going to upload them anymore. those who wants to see them, please go to jiong hong's or wan yi's blog... today have a few special things for me to take note...

firstly, it's FELIX'S 17th birthday!!!!
secondly, korkor is taking his driving test today! wish him good luck!
thirdly, korkor not coming home to slp tonight! :( he went for the rvb camp! which means, my didi will be most likely to be slping in my room tonight. and i dun like it. cos he snores... zzz.
lastly, today is a friday!!!! which means one week is over again. dam. i really hate this feeling.

finished checking my bro's work.. see le will faint. leaving blanks here and there... and my brain rusty liao. can't do mental calculaion that fast anymore... and i actually have difficulty convincing myself when it comes to chinese.. pri 4 chinese! omg... i'm seriously dying..

<3